“What do you mean how do I feel about having children?!” Your voice almost breaks on the last word and I can’t keep a straight face any longer. Falling about laughing, I wave you back to your seat.

“Ok ok, so I didn’t mean an actual child, sweetling. I was actually thinking about getting a puppy.” Your breathing is still a bit laboured so I move to sit on the arm of your chair and put my hand on yous. “Hehe, your face was so worth it.”

The glare you shoot me melts into a smile. “A dog, huh? What’s sparked this?” I launch into my rehearsed spiel about the joys of canine companionship, add in the fact our flat allows pets, but finish with the clincher I know you’ll go for.

“Actually, though, it’s because I was talking to a girl in one of my classes who works for an animal shelter, and they’re about to put down a puppy. Apparently she was abused and has a broken leg; it’ll be a bit of work to get her back into full health. The shelter hasn’t found a home for her within their timeframe and can’t give her the attention she needs so…” I have to bite back a bit of a sniffle myself. Who could ever hurt a dog? Or put one down simply to clear up space?

I lean forward and kiss your cheek. “Ants? You’ve gone all quiet.” When you suddenly stand up, I almost topple from my perch and have to scramble after you. “Hon? Where are you going?”

“To go pick up our newest family member. You coming?”

*

My classmate had given me directions to the shelter. It’s on the outskirts of town, a bit of a walk from the nearest bus stop. Your hand is crushing mine as you stride along the pavement, but I don’t mind. I’m just as affected by the puppy’s story as you had been, so I understand. When we reach the address, however, I pull you to a stop.

“Why don’t you let me do the talking, k?” I raise an eyebrow as you protest. “You’re likely to shout the place down around their ears if given half a chance, sir. I know you. Let’s just adopt our little girl and put that energy into making her a good home.”

“Can’t I yell just a little?” I shake my head and you sigh. “Fine. But seriously, what kind of place would KILL an ANIMAL just because it’s taking a bit of time to heal? Are these people monsters, or are they just-” You stop yourself abruptly. “Yeah. You talk.”

I head to the desk with you in tow. “Hello, I’m here to adopt a puppy; Roweena said she mentioned I might be in?” Apparently she had, because the receptionist’s face breaks into a huge smile.

“Little Hellgirl? Oh, we’re all so glad she’ll be getting a home! We call her Hellgirl because her front leg is in a cast, it makes her look like… anyway. Yes, come on back!”

You seem slightly mollified by the obvious affection in the receptionist’s voice, but continue glaring as we follow him down the hallway.

I pinch your arm, “Smile a little, sheesh. They might not want to send a puppy home with someone looking as stormy as you right now.”

Yips echo around the hall as Todd opens a door. “Here she is. We’ve kept her isolated from the others because of her leg, so apologies if she’s a bit rambunctious.” Stepping inside the room, my heart breaks all over again. The interior of the kennel cage is a brown blur as Hellgirl bounces back and forth, clearly trying to jump and run but hampered by the clunky cast and the sides of the cage.

“She’s fixed, and has all her shots and medicines, so really other than the leg, there’s not much you’ll be facing in the way of vets. She’s also housebroken and has basic training for commands.” I’m watching you, crouched down by the front of the kennel, pressing your hand against the wire for a ferocious palm-licking. The receptionist continues, “And really, you’re doing us such a favour, if you were to bring her back here in a couple weeks to get it off, I don’t think anyone would protest…” A wink follows this whispered comment.

You’re already reaching for the latch as you ask if it’s ok to let her out. Seconds later, a 35 pound ball of fur and plaster is in your lap, licking your face and yipping wildly. Swiveling awkwardly, you turn to face me. With a firm hand on the puppy’s muzzle, you point her head at me. “See your mommy? It’s her fault you’re coming home with us, Miss Rakaia.” I laugh at this, you’ve named her after a river near your hometown.

“Ants babe, I’ll leave you and her alone to get acquainted while I settle up the paperwork, ok?”  An over-the-shoulder wave lets me know you heard; you’re far too wrapped up with your new girl to bother talking.

Once back in the foyer, Toddhands me a clipboard. “Your husband seems to really like her.” I choke.

“Husband? Ah, no, we’re just dating, y’see. Well, living together, but, uh, we’re not married or anything.” Seeing his expression, I continue. “Don’t worry. Hellgirl’s getting a stable home.” I jerk my finger back the way we’d come, where the yips had been replaced with laughter and the occasional “Good girl!” from my non-husband. “Besides, if anything were to happen, she’d end up with him. She’ll be fine.”

I sign my name a couple more times and hand over a credit card. You come to join us, Rakaia in your arms. Todd hands me a leash. “She can walk, you know.” You glare at him and head out the door, arms full of quietly wiggling puppy. I thank Todd for his help and follow, grinning.

*

The cab ride home takes two parts; we have to stop at a pet store to get supplies for our new baby. Rakaia looks like a very strange duckling as she hobbles along at your side, “mommy” bringing up the rear with a cart. Although you’ve got the leash on her, it’s just for show. She’s just as smitten as I had been upon first seeing you; I doubt she’d let you out of her sight. Soon we’re laden down with toys, food, bowls, collars, a bed, and various dog-paraphernalia I’m sure I’ll eventually figure out. As the total grows, I shoot you a sideways look. Maybe I hadn’t planned this out as well as I thought, all this stuff is starting to cost.

You put your arms around me, Rakaia docile and sitting at your command. “Don’t worry,” you say softly in my ear. “I can tap into my savings a little and pay myself back soon enough. It’s fine.” I twist to plant a kiss on your cheek, relieved you don’t seem to mind.

Back in the flat, I whip up some dinner for all of us as you go around telling Rakaia all about her new home. I can’t help giggling as I hear you say “Now, this is mom and dad’s room. Your bed’s in here too, so don’t think you need to be up in ours. You’ll get plenty of lovin’ during the day. No dogs allowed for evenin’ time lovin’!”

“That’s right, missy. He’s my man, not yours!” Rakaia comes running at the sound of my voice and sprawls at my feet, clearly wanting a tummy rub. I oblige with a bare foot, my hands busy with tossing a salad. I’m glad she likes me as well, not just you. In the cab, I’d been convinced she didn’t realize I was even alive, much less care to pay attention to me. I drop a bit of carrot on the floor.

After dinner, we sit in the middle of the living room floor and call Kai over. She’s a pretty generic mutt, you decide, kind of mottled-brown but with a darker muzzle and splotches on her shoulders. Her ears are floppier than not and she has an intelligent face, when we can get her to sit still long enough for a good look.

“I don’t think she’ll get to be too big,” you muse. “Her feet and head are all in proportion and she doesn’t seem like she’s got much bulkiness in her. More along the lines of a-” I cut you off by stealing her current obsession toy and chucking it in your lap.

My innocent expression is no protection, however, and soon a game of monkey-in-the-middle has Rakaia positively manic with happiness. Just when I’m about to suggest taking her for a walk before trying to get her to bed, she simply tips over and falls asleep.

“Awww. I bet she didn’t get much playtime at the shelter,” I say, watching her tail wag once befor it too gives in to exhaustion. Glancing at you, I snap my fingers. “Hey. Hon. She has a good home now. We’ll make it up to her.”

You shake your head as if to clear it and stoop to pick up our knackered puppy. “I’m gonna put her in her bed.” I let you go, giving you some space. Sure enough, it’s a full 10 or more minutes before you return.

“I filled her water bowl and left it in the bathroom,” I say and pat the couch next to me. You join me, leaning forward with your elbows on your knees and your face in your hands.

I stroke your back and wait for your outburst. Instead, you turn to face me, voice haggard as you ask “Who could hurt her? Who could do that?” My eyes instantly brim with tears and you swear, pulling me into a tight hug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I sniffle and wipe my tears on your sleeve.

“I dunno. She’ll be ok now, though.” I start to rub my cheeks dry on your shirt as well, but stop when a short brown hair tickles my lip. “Your shirt is covered in Kai hair.”

“That’s easy enough to fix.” You remove the offending article and throw it toward the bedroom, then kiss me. Breaking off suddenly, you touch my cheek. “I didn’t mean to name her without you.”

“Aw, that’s ok. I deserved it after asking how you felt about having children. I stink at coming up with names anyway.”

“You’re telling me. Didn’t you name one of your stuffed animals Ophaxopheles once?”

I narrow my eyes and growl at you. “See if I ever tell you anything ever again!”

“It’s adorable.” You kiss me again, stifling any further protestations of outrage.

*

Three weeks later, I open the door to a sleek-looking Kai and a beaming Ants. “The vet said she was fine for the cast to come off! What do you say for a romp in the Meadows?” I drop my schoolbag and switch into a heavier coat, it’s getting windy.

We head out, hand in hand, with a bouncing puppy leaping around us.